Love Does NOT Rejoice in Evil...

So, I had an experience that was quite uncharacteristic of me at the beginning of this year. Basically, I was disobeying my parents because I thought that "love" was more important than parental authority. ((WRONG)) If you know the full story, good for you. But if you don't, it's not hard to fill in the blanks.

First of all, I was disobeying my parents. ((Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3)), meaning I was also disobeying God((Titus 1:16, 3:3)). Now, I know how strict my parents are and I knew full-well the consequences if I were to get caught. So I was also LYING((Psalms 119:29, 120:2; Proverbs 12:19, 22)). It wasn't just ONE lie, it was a bunch...making me a LIAR((1 John 2:4; Jeremiah 50:36a)). I was also causing someone else to stumble((Mark 9:42)). Ouch.

My parents said that if I hadn't lied about what I was doing, I would've been allowed to date the guy. So basically, if I had done the right thing, I wouldn't have been grounded for a month. (By "grounded", I mean, "G-R-O-U-N-D-E-D". No friends. No computer. No cell phone. No iPod. Eventually, no journaling, and no ROOM--because I KEPT messing up. All because I thought my parents were "MURDERERS OF LOVE!!" [for Caleb. ;)]) What I failed to realize is that if I was REALLY "in love" with the dude, my parents wouldn't have been opposed to it...I CERTAINLY wouldn't have lied to everyone about it...and more importantly, we would still be "in love" five months later((see next few blogs)).

Now what was the point of that? Exactly what I just said. During that whole time, I had to convince myself that I was happy. Guys, it was TIRING. Every time I opened my mouth, I had to make sure that I was being consistent with my other lies. Needless to say, I was NOT in love. (See previous paragraph if you missed those reasons).

Now, that example was pretty good, but it works with other relationships too. When you love someone, you're not gonna be happy with them if you're they're doing something wrong. We always hear that if you love someone, you're willing to do anything for them. That's true. "Anything" includes letting them know they're wrong. That reciprocates. If you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing, if they love you, they'll tell you.

That's how it works. If you love someone, you generally don't let them mess up their lives. Go figure.

Love Does NOT Hold a Grudge

Alrighty, kiddos. Personally, this is one of the toughest ones for me. It is seriously hard to forgive people when they've hurt you.

grudge: a feeling of ill will or resentment.

Let's talk about Jonah. His story is found in, GUESS. The book of Jonah! (Go figure.) So, God told Jonah to go to Nineveh because he was a prophet. Instead, he goes to Joppa and tries to sail to Tarshish. While on the sea, a huge storm comes, and the sailors start casting lots((Jonah 1:7)). They find out that it was Jonah's doing, and he tells them to toss him overboard((Jonah 1:12)). The storm stops immediately, and he's swallowed by a big fish((Jonah 1:17)). He prays from inside the fish for forgiveness and the fish spits him out((Jonah 2)).

Why didn't Jonah just GO to Nineveh in the first place?? I mean, seriously. God TOLD him to, and he ran away. In the Veggie Tales movie "Jonah", then it showed Jonah as being scared of the Ninevites because they slapped each other with fish. That WOULD be pretty scary, but I imagine what the Ninevites were actually doing was much worse. In Jonah 1:2, it says that their wickedness had risen up before God and God was going to destroy the city.

The thing is: Jonah didn't care. He WANTED them to be punished for their disobedience. That's why he was all wimpy and ran away. He didn't want to warn them. Then, after he got swallowed by a fish and thrown up again, he held a grudge against God! That's never a good idea. After he prophesied to Nineveh, he sat and waited for God to judge them. God provided shade, and then He took it away((Jonah 4:6-7)). (I must say, "haha, Jonah." I mean...really.)

Another look at holding a grudge was Herodias and John the Baptist. Herodias was mad because John kept telling Herod that it was illegal for him to be married to her. Herodias' daughter did a dance for Herod, and in turn he said that she could have up to half of his kingdom. She asked for the head of John the Baptist on a platter(mommy's orders). All because John told Herod that it was illegal for him to be married to Herodias. ((Matthew 14:1-11))

So there are two different Biblical examples of how holding grudges is a bad thing. I don't think that God is going to give you the desire to behead someone or put you in the belly of a fish, but it can really mess up relationships with people. Yeah, they shouldn't have screwed up. The right thing to do is forgive them and MOVE ON. Seriously. God forgave you. He doesn't hold the time you lied, or stole or cheated against you. So, we need to be able to extend the same courtesy to others. No, "forgiving" does not mean "trusting". (ie. Just because you forgive someone does not mean that you have to trust them immediately again. You just need to love them above yourself, and let God do the rest.)

Remember my intermission?? When we don't forgive people and move on, we're not giving them a chance to forgive themselves either. When GOD has forgiven someone, then we need to make the effort. It's not easy, and Jesus never said it would be. He just said that we needed to love people.

I thought this was really neat. I taught a Sunday School class full of 8-year-olds on Sunday morning(go figure....). They did this program called "Kidmo", and it's a video that just plays for the entire Sunday School hour(supposedly). Anyway, it didn't, and we(My neighbor and I) asked them what they wanted to do. SURPRISINGLY, a little girl named Shannon says, "Can we just talk about Jesus?".

Pause. Rewind. Playback.

SHE'S EIGHT!!!!! That was SO cool. If you'd ever been to that church, then you'd know that they aren't really getting their spiritual fill; even for little kids. Their memory verse was Luke 6:32. (They learned motions and everything!!)

"If you love someone who loves you, what kind of good does that do? Even bad people love those who love them."

I think that's pretty applicable here. If you can forgive someone who forgives you, what kind of testimony is that?? Even non-Christians can forgive people who forgive them! When you forgive people who are HARD to forgive, THAT is when you're showing the love of Jesus to them. It's no good for you to do what everyone else does. Shake up the earth and show people that you're DIFFERENT. Stop trying to blend in, because that's not gonna change anything.

((James 1:22)) "And remember, it is a message to obey, not just to listen to. If you don't obey, you are only fooling yourself."

Yep, called you out. I'm sitting here, pouring out my heart and soul for you guys, but I want to see ACTION. I'm not just pulling stuff out of the air, here. This is stuff that I'm actually having to apply to my life too. I want you guys to call me out if you see me being a spiritual couch potato. I want you guys to call me out if I'm saying something you disagree with, or that is Biblically incorrect. PLEASE guys. I need your input. If I don't have active readers, then I get a bit discouraged, and it's hard for me to put myself out there if people aren't reading. So COMMENT times a million! It will be greatly appreciated. Ü

An Intermission

I know I dedicated the month of July to "Love Lessons", but God has been laying this blog on my heart for awhile, and I'm finally releasing my stubbornness and just writing it. Here's a list of things I've learned (and relearned) my Freshman year of High School...Hopefully it doesn't sound too cliche.

Most importantly...God is faithful. Yes, it's repetitive, but it's true. I wish I could explain to you how I've come to relearn this this past year, but I can't. Hopefully I've given you enough reason to trust me, but more importantly I hope that my words and actions have inspired to you become closer to God. The LAST thing that I want to do is drive you away from Him or distract you from Him. If I do, I fully expect you to tell me. If I've built you up in Him, just remember that it's not my doing. All of these blogs have been His words through me. All of my "revelations" have been from Him, and that's the end of it. The thing is...I don't WANT the recognition or praise because it's not mine to take in the first place. I'm not doing anything but relaying a message, so the praise is HIS. Not mine. End of subject.

On FORGIVENESS, God is faithful to forgive you when you ask. "For a CLEAN feeling! No matter what!" (I'm thinking the Orbitz lady knows what she's talking about...) The problem is we don't forgive others and we don't forgive ourselves. We tend to hold grudges(more tomorrow) against other people but they grudges we hold against ourselves are worse. Learning how to forgive others and yourself is a hard lesson to learn, but it shouldn't be. Most of the time forgiving others is easier than forgiving yourself because of guilt. The important thing to remember is that God has forgiven you and cast your sin as far as the east is from the west never to be seen again...so STOP BRINGING IT UP!! when we don't forgive others, we're not giving them a chance to forgive themselves. It's a vicious cycle.

On PROMISES. Don't make promises that you can't keep. Yep, it's Biblical. God kept every single promise He's ever made, and we're expected to do that. Yes, we're human. We're not going to be able to keep all of those promises. It's more logical to just not make the promise in the first place. It doesn't make it easier, it just makes it right.

On FRIENDSHIP. True, real friendship is totally irreplaceable...you shouldn't even have the opportunity to replace it. The term "best friend" is a term that people overuse. It's putting your friends on a scale, and it's not fair to them. They're gifts from God, and God didn't mean for you to put them on scale. Yes, you will be closer to some people. That's also a gift from God. Scales are never ever a good idea(ie. pretty scales, friend scales, "love" scales). They're not fair OR Biblical and they just end up hurting people. So, that should be enough incentive for you not to do it. Always remember that crushes are going to come and go, but your friends will always be there. So don't ditch your friends for a guy/girl. Seriously. It's not worth ruining friendships.

On HAPPINESS. You can't depend on anyone but God for your happiness. When you depend on anyone else, they let you down, and you blame them even though it's your own fault. People can't give you eternal joy--that's God's job. ((Short, I know...but incredibly true.))

On LETTING GO. Letting go isn't ever easy. Especially when you think you're right. After you've thoroughly screwed up your life, relationship with Christ and several friendships you finally realize that you were wrong(Thank God). That doesn't make it easier to let go. We always hear that sin is fun for a season, and that's true. And then you look back and think, "My GOODNESS. I'm SO STUPID." And THEN you realize how many people you neglected and hurt...including God--and that's the worst part. Knowing that you let God down. ((check out the forgiveness part. Again. It doesn't make it easier. Just right.)) Then, once you let God forgive you, and you forgive yourself, you realize that it's best for everyone. There's a song called, "If You Wanted a Song Written About You, All You Had to Do Was Ask" by Mayday Parade. In one part of the song then it says, "Even broken hearts may have their doubts". Very true...but, check out Jeremiah 17:9-10. A better example is "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."(("All at Once"-The Fray)). That's the case a lot of the time.

On FAMILY. No matter what, your family is your family. You're placed there for a reason. Even when they annoy you. Even when you THINK they're wrong. Even when they ARE wrong. They're still your family, and you're still a part of them. I know that not everyone has the best family situation. I know that. But they're still your family, even when it doesn't feel like it. Trust God, because He can be trusted. That's all I can say.

On GROWING UP(or trying to). Contrary to popular belief, growing up is NOT doing whatever you want. It means being mature enough to accept and follow through with God's will, disregarding what you want, and making His will what you want.

On PRAYER. Telling someone that you'll pray for them is not an excuse not to listen to their problems. God wants you to care about other people. Praying for them IS good, but sometimes, all people need is for you to LISTEN and CARE.

Hopefully, you guys took this to heart. These lessons were not EASY to learn. They weren't easy to share, either. It brought up a lot of stuff that I didn't want to think about. Looking back, it was worth it. God often works through you in hard situations. You just have to keep your eyes on Him, and let Him.

Life is not easy. We weren't promised that it was going to be easy. But, Someone loves you. Even when you don't think so. Don't you know? You've got me and Jesus. By your side, through the fight, you will never be alone on your own. You've got me and Jesus. (("Me and Jesus"-Stellar Kart)) It's true. You HAVE got me and Jesus. I promise you that, dear reader.

Love is NOT Easily Angered

So, it sounds a lot like patience...but, alas...it's not.

anger: a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence.

belligerence: a warlike or aggressively hostile nature; the act of carrying on war; warfare.

Uh, yeah. That's right. Anger is like carrying on warfare. This surprised me too. O_O

My little brother used to have an AWFUL anger problem as a kiddie. I mean, when he got upset...he got UPSET. Not only was his temper huge, but it wasn't even big stuff that he got angry about. It could be anything from having to use the tee in T-ball practice to having to eat vegetables. He was incredibly easily angered. He's gotten WAYYYYY better. Being even-tempered is not something that you are born with. It's something that you have to learn.

Let's look at Potiphar. Remember him? He was the Pharaoh's officer and the captain of the guard((Genesis 37:36)). Check out Genesis 39. What's happened is that Joseph(the Dreamer[Genesis 37:19]) has been sold into slavery in Egypt and ended up in Potiphar's house. Apparently, Joseph was pretty darn attractive((Genesis 39:6b)), and that's one of the reasons that this problem came about. The problem was that Potiphar's wife found Joseph attracted, and was constantly trying to seduce him((Genesis 39:7, 10)). Now, Joseph IS a guy, and I imagine that did wonders for his ego, but after awhile, it probably wore him down spiritually. He kept refusing her((Genesis 39:10b)), and she ended up framing him for rape.

Well, Potiphar was upset. In fact, his anger BURNED((Genesis 39:19b)). This wasn't a little thing. His wife was claiming to have been raped by his right hand guy. Even though he was angry...he put Joseph in the King's prison(which is better than normal prison, conditions-wise). Why? Dr. Bruson said that it was because Potiphar knew Joseph's character...and he also knew his wife.

It's not wrong to be angry. When the anger takes over and makes you want to sin or gives you a hate for someone else...that's when it becomes wrong. Jesus got angry too. Remember the story of the tax collectors in the temple?? ((Matthew 21:12-13)) Well, I'd say that that was a legitimate reason to get angry. The tax collectors had turned the "House of Prayer" into a "den of robbers".

((Matthew 5:22a)) "Whoever is angry at his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment." One day, we're all going to be judged. There is a difference between "the judgment" and being judged. If you're saved, God will judge you on how you lived your life for Him(or didn't). The judgment is talking about whether you're going to Heaven or hell(and it's hell if you're not saved. Sorry. But that's the truth. John 5:24)). Being angry without a cause...being angry just to be angry...It doesn't automatically mean you're going to hell. It doesn't automatically mean you're not saved. When you ARE saved, you gain joy((Psalm 21:6)). So generally, you're not angry for no reason if you have joy.

I was talking to my friend the other day and I asked how she was. She said, "I'm okay...". My general response is "Just okay?!", but before I could say that she said, "but joyful through it all."

O_O. Read that again.

Holy cow, guys. How neat is that? I was seriously impressed that she would tell me that. I mean, really. How many of us actually ARE joyful through tough situations? On top of that...how many of us TELL other people that we're joyful? I thought that that was really cool. (She's awesome. <3)

So, in summary, it is not a sin to be angry if there is a valid reason. Our human nature is to hurt people when they make us angry, and THAT is when it becomes a sin. God wants to help with this kind of thing. Check this out: Beautiful Questions.

Love is NOT Selfish

oOo. Now, NO ONE likes this subject. Why? Because we all have this problem.

No. Shut up. You do. I'm not going on until you admit it.

selfish: characterized by manifesting concern or care only for oneself.

Yeah. I know. I'm mean because I just called you "selfish"...but so am I, so deal with it. Now that ALL of our selfishness is out there for the world to see...Let's look at someone else's...wait. What was that? You wanted to talk about YOUR selfishness(whoa....you're selfish...)?? That's what I thought.

How about the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus((Luke 16:19-31))? Now, the rich man "faired sumptuously" and "dressed in purple and fine linens"...This is Bible times. When you "faired sumptuously" in Bible times, think Ritz Carlton. Think "W" Hotels of New York. Then you see the other side of the scope: (v20-21)Lazarus. He was "covered in sores" and the dogs came and licked them. (Uh, gross.) The Rich Man wouldn't even give Lazarus his table scraps. Eventually, they both died. Lazarus went to Heaven and the Rich Man went to Hell((Note: this had nothing to do with social status. It had to do with their spiritual states)). The Rich Man wanted Lazarus to dip the TIP of his finger in water to cool his tongue. But there is a great chasm fixed between Heaven and Hell, and people cannot pass. I have no doubt that if he could've, Lazarus would've dipped his finger in water for him...Oh, how the tables have turned, right?

What about Abraham and Lot((Genesis 13:7-12))? There was a fight between their servants, so they went their separate ways. Abraham gave Lot the choice of the land, even though Abraham was older. Lot chose the plain of the Jordan, and where did he end up? In Sodom. What happened to Sodom? ((Genesis 19:24)) Yeah. That's not cool. He wanted the best land, and ended up in a city full of sinners ((Genesis 13:13)), and his brother convinced God to spare their lives.

Why is being self-seeking a bad thing? Exactly how it sounds. You're seeking yourself. Meaning(follow my train of thought, for goodness' sake!!), you're NOT seeking God. Remember the lesson on pride?? When you're so focused on YOURSELF in a situation, then you can't see what God is doing through you. Cuz, guess what, kid. God does NOT need you(remember the rocks?). The thing is He WANTS to use you. It's an HONOR to be used by God. Another thing that Rev. Eppling said that stood out to me was that you have to be clean spiritually to be used by God. It's like a surgeon before he performs an operation. Why does he wash his hands? Because if he doesn't, he would be doing more harm than good. (See? Sermons are applicable!!!)

Psssssst. This doesn't mean it's wrong to want nice things, have nice things, or wanting to look nice. It just means that when that stuff starts becoming more important than God...you're being selfish. There's a point in your life when you have to stop staring in the mirror and asking "Who's the fairest of them all?" and start caring about other people.

If any of you went on the '07 8th Grade Missions Trip to ATL(Group 3 ruled, by the way)...I guarantee that anyone who was even REMOTELY selfish at the beginning of that trip learned otherwise by the end of the week. I can tell you this: those guys are THE sweetest guys you will meet in your entire life. Every morning they got up at LEAST an hour earlier to pack up everyone's luggage. We were staying at the YMCA, and had to be packed and out of the children's rooms by 7:30am, if I remember correctly. That means, they were getting up around 5:30am, and packing a closet with 100ish suitcases. Every day. For 6 days. In turn, we'd try and get packed as fast as we could so they could eat breakfast. Some of us even SERVED breakfast. What would've happened if the guys had decided not to obey orders? Well, the girls would all think they were selfish jerks. What would've happened if the girls had refused to clean,serve, or set up breakfast? The guys probably would've thought that we were being selfish airheads. It was a two-way street. We didn't EXPECT them to put our luggage away. They didn't EXPECT us to serve them breakfast. They put our needs above their own, and we did the same.

Here's the thing: If you're not willing to sacrifice for other people, don't expect other people to sacrifice for you.

Love is NOT Rude

This is the common sense one. ((Matthew 7:12)) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We've learned this since Kindergarten. Since before we even knew it was a Bible verse, right?

Rude:impolite, unmannered, rough, harsh, ungentle; without culture, learning or manners.

Yeah. Do you know anyone who's rude? I really didn't think that I did until we started venturing to Kentucky. Seriously. People can be extremely, EXTREMELY...well, rude. People are not born with manners, and I'm blessed enough to have good morals and NOT be rude to people.

How do you approach people who are rude? Personally, I avoid them like the plague, and only talk to them when absolutely necessary. And, I must confess, that that is not Christlike. A cliche in our church is "You're not gonna be best friends with everyone".

True. That.

The high school workers are not stupid. They know about the cliques(off-topic....). The point is, you're NOT going to be best friends with everyone...but that's not an excuse to be rude to them. There's no excuse for not acknowledging them either, because that makes you rude. If they are rude to the point where you absolutely CANNOT be around them, then you need to confront them. This is how: Matthew 18:15-17.

I asked my mom how I was going to get a whole "love lesson" out of a common sense principle. She proceeded to remind me about my siblings. (Stop laughing.) Why is it so hard to be nice to your siblings? I mean seriously. Oh, yeah. Because they're ANNOYING. Guess what? It doesn't matter.

Let me repeat that.

IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. Who cares if your siblings are annoying? I'm thinking that Jesus was annoyed with the people who BEAT Him and put Him on a cross, considering WE did all the crap that put Him there((Matthew 27)). He put up with it...why? Because He LOVES us((John 3:16)). Forever. Before we were born. No matter what we will do, are doing, have done((1 John 3:16)).

So back to why it's hard, since THAT isn't enough of an incentive to be nice. Right now, I'm staying at my grandparents' house in Kentucky. We have 6 people in the house with ONE bathroom. Guess what? I asked God to help me with the whole love thing. And He has an awesome sense of humor. But really, it is a GREAT way to be able to practice everything that I've been "preaching" for the past 2 weeks. Wanna see my new definitions? (Sure you do.)

patience: 6 people. One bathroom. On top of all of the normal sibling stuff.

kindness: getting up at 7am to help with breakfast.

jealousy: who gets the better bed?

boastfulness: not bragging about getting the better bed.

rudeness: being on your best behavior for four days because you're staying with your grandparents.

So, me and my best-EST friend use to do scenarios. This is how that works: I give you a scenario, you create a response. Let's say that I am using my iPod and you want to use it. What are you going to do?
You say: "snatch". *buzzer* WRONG. I'm not gonna give it to you. Why? Cuz you're being rude.
You say: "give it to me". *buzzer* WRONG. Mind your P's and Q's, kid.
You say: "Rina, my gorgeous, darling, eldest sister, may I have the honor of borrowing your iPod?"*buzzer* Though this answer is preferable, you're feeding my pride, and that's no good either. ((I know. I AM gorgeous and darling. But still.))
You say: "Rina, may I please use your iPod?" *DINGDINGDING*!! Here ya go. *bestows iPod upon thyself.*

That is not to say that you should only be nice to people because you want stuff. Though...it is the smart way to get what you want. People tend to respond to polite behavior rather than nasty attitude. It's a fact of life.

Pride Part 2 (with a little side of boasting)

So, yesterday I talked about how being too prideful can hurt a relationship rather than help it in the context of dating/marital relationships, but pride can also ruin other relationships. Let's use an example from my own life(no, nosy. It's not gossip. I'm not using any names.)


When I was little, one of my best friends was also a part of a clique. We hung out a lot, but she kept our friendship separate from her clique. I tried to hang out with them, but they just didn't ever accept me into their "group". Eventually, she told me that she didn't want to be friends anymore, while her entire clique sat and watched, laughing. It was pretty embarrassing and to this day, I don't know why I couldn't be friends with her. If I were to guess, it would probably be because I wasn't "good enough" for their little group...stemming from...yeah. Pride. We're all friendly now, and I don't hold a grudge(later blog). It was all stupid little kid stuff, but it didn't seem stupid at the time...but it's a good example of pride.

I ws browsing the Christian nonfiction section, and that's when I discovered Justin Lookadoo (remember him?). I read an interesting sentence: "Relationships cannot glorify God. Only the people in them can." Now, immediately, red flags went up in my brain. I've always been taught about having godly relationships with people(*rings bell in your mind*). Did you catch that? We're to have godly relationships. Your relationships (no, not just dating) are gifts from God. Whether it be with your parents, siblings, best-EST friends, girlfriend/boyfriend, WHATEVER--if you are in God's Will, it is a gift from Him. You don't NEED to be in a relationship to glorify God, but it IS possible to be in a relationship where both parties are glorifying God.

Check out Esther 6:6-11. The King asked Haman what he should do to honor someone higher than himself. Haman gave out all of these extraordinary ideas, and that was all true...but the thing was that Haman thought the King was talking about honoring him. When he had to lead Mordecai around on horseback in all of the King's finest, don't you think that it was more than a little bit humbling. After that, Haman ended up killing himself on the gallows that he'd built for Mordecai.

The moral of the story: When you're too proud to realize that YOU are NOT the gift...something is wrong.